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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Monday, February 28, 2011 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I DID A FANGIRL POST SO OMG HERE IT IS. I CAN'T STOP REWATCHING THE BIG BANG SECRET GARDEN PARODY. /DIES FOREVER IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I CRIED FROM WATCHING ANYTHING. GD IS TOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. I SWEAR HE PUTS US GIRLS TO SHAME. I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS MINDFUCK OKAY. 
CUTE OR CLASSY HE PULLS IT OFF.
HE EVEN LOOKS LIKE A HOT BITCH WITHOUT THE DRESS/WIG. well, okay, so he has boobs in that one xD ANYWAY. THE KISSES. HOMG THE KISSES. TOP REALLY PLANTED ONE DOWN ON HIS TWO DONGSAENGS. HOW COULD YOU D:< /squeals happily inside  
G-ri was my original ship (circa 2007 lol) but i have seen the ~light~.gtop is the way to go~ even their album sounds better than the whole bigbang mini album!!!! they must be sekritly fucking or how could they have such chemistry???? and everyone noticed how happy top is after he kissed them boys right? his WIDE grin while seungri freaked out... :D OKAY I WILL WATCH IT FOR THE 6TH TIME NOW. ... does this mean the long buried bigbang stan in me is awakening? ps. pfft you girls going all nostalgic on last farewell? try dirty cash, you late bishes :P gif credit epik till the death of me; 5:45 PM Saturday, February 26, 2011 today i tagged along with my brother to times square's theme park, because his company was bringing orphans out on a trip. i adore kids, so following was naturally my choice. when i got there four 12 year olds chose to follow me and my friend (my friend and i? xD), so we brought them on rides. one girl was particularly bossy and managed to bully me onto a ride called the dna mixer. if you don't know what that is, it's a suspended top spin ride or click here for a video of it in action. what i hate about it, aside from the gut wrenching action, is how freaking LONG the ride is. it's 3 full minutes of hell wtf. i imagine being in a crashing plane would feel like this. so i wobbled down from the mixer... only to be pulled onto another spinning ride. needless to say, nausea followed after i got off. my friends tell me that a lot of people actually puke after the mixer, so huh, i guess my sense of balance is better than i thought :D the kids wanted to play another crazy spinning ride but i was already dizzy so i told them to go ahead. then i saw The Guy. The Guy was one of the two chaperons that brought the kids here and he's really tall and kind of cute. i sat down next to him, smiled at him and then proceeded to nonchalantly ignore him. and... it worked. hee :3 he started talking to me, asking why i volunteered, what my name is, where i studied... the usual. and i asked him how old he is. "24," he told me, and i laughed. "i'm 18," i told him. a 6 year age difference OTL. we talked a bit and he's really nice to talk to :) i can't quite remember his name though. i know half of it, but the last half... i just came down from a ride where i was spun and shaken like clothes in a washing machine; do you think i would have been in the right mind for conversation? plus, the theme park was noisy and i could barely hear him. i wonder, if we hadn't left so suddenly, would he have asked for my contact info? because there was obviously mutual interest. not necessarily in the boy-girl relationship kind of way, but maybe as friends. probably not though, because my brother was hovering in the background. also, i'm the same age as his oldest charge D: fuck age differences ;A; epik till the death of me; 8:11 PM Thursday, February 24, 2011 because i'm strangely fascinated with the kbs drama special white christmas. here's a white christmas fic. written within 10 minutes, unbetaed. you might not get it unless you watched the drama, but it's only loosely based on the drama's opening scene, amd just characterisations. . 구석괴물 monster in the corner characters: jaegyu. mooyeol. youngjae. chiwoo. beommo. . so it's awkward, the five of you in one room, with little in common other than the fact that you're all 17, all students of this school and all stuck here. you're not friends with any of these people. well, maybe you are friends with mooyeol, because he's friends with everyone (even with him you sometimes feel like he doesn't appreciate your presence), but with the rest of them you are mere acquintances. they're talking to each other over dinner, joking with each other, but not to you not with you. you don't blame them, because you're jaegyu- plain, boring jaegyu. why would anyone talk to you? youngjae leads the conversation, being too loud, too rude, too conscending. if youngjae was a fancy raspberry soufle, you'll be day old plain bread. but no, youngjae is more dark chocolate with mint -bitter at first but harmless and with a refreshing outspokenness as time goes on- than soufle. beom mo would be a cream puff. definately a cream puff. and mooyeol... a red velvet cake? colourful and sweet to the point where your teeth hurt. you're trying to peg chiwoo down as either a cheese cake (low key yet dangerously smart) or a macaroon (difficult to comprehend for such a unassuming exterior) when someone waves a hand in front of face. mooyeol smiles at you in that typical i-care-about-you-why-don't-you-tell-me-more fashion and asks you if you're okay. of course he's okay, youngjae steals the words from your mouth, because he's always liked being someone else's voice. you nod and chew on a cherry tomato to confirm his statement. youngjae beams at you but the smile is less comforting and more sinister. only 7 more nights and christmas break is over. you hide a small smirk. maybe it's time to liven things up. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 8:20 PM Tuesday, February 22, 2011 on episode 14 of dream high, baekhee reveals that she was sexually exploited by her company president. i think it's good how dream high actually dares to address the issue of sexual abuse among the entertainment industry. because there's a small chance -and just a tiny chance given the hypocrisy of most netizens- that people will learn that the victim is not the one in the wrong, but the one who was WRONGED. they showed how people typically react in such situations- they whisper, they eye, they point, they AVOID. sadly, this is an accurate reconstruction of what would actually happen. one scene made me particularly upset. when asked why baekhee avoided going to class, she said that she felt embarrassed and upset when she saw her classmates. that sentence basically made me bawl like a child because that's not how it should be. why should she be the one feeling sorry when someone else ruined her life? it angers me so much. so fucking much. right now my english presentation topic is this: should there be an international legal limit for marriages? this means that i've been reading up a lot on child marriages, and i come across one too many horror stories of girls and women abused, often to the point of death. i feel horrified to my gut. after so many centuries, why should we be discriminated against just because we have the "wrong" set of genitals? you are made of us. i am xx. you are only half of me. you are xy. without me you are nothing. epik till the death of me; 9:11 PM Friday, February 18, 2011  계속해서 생각해봤어? 어디서부터 잘못된 걸까 너는 나를 비참하게 물들였고 너는 나를 구석괴물로 만들었고 너는 네가 아는 걸 침묵했어 너는 내 가망 없는 희망을 비웃었고 너는 내가 가진 단 하나를 빼앗아 목에 걸었고 너는 내가 내민 손을 잡았다가 놓아 버렸고 그리고 너는 눈앞의 나를 지워버렸고 마지막으로 너는 나를 가로챘어 Merry Christmas Happy New Year 8일간의 휴일이 지나고 느티나무 언덜길을 올라와 시계탑 앞에 서면 죽어 있는 누군가가 보일 거야 아기 예수가 태어난 밤에 나는 너를 저주한다 ♥ i love white christmas sfm. i love the way it was shot. i love the characters. i love the bgm. i love the mysteriousness. i love the suspense. i love the eyecandy. just one thing. 재규야 너 말이 좀 해라. 너무 조용해서 니가 좀좀 잊어진거야... the eyecandy in this show is ridiculous. most of the actors are models. the lead is this guy, baek seong hyun. a 22 year old ex-child actor with an impressive filmography.  he plays a character named mooyeol. he's the nice guy, the one who investigates the whole mystery and makes peace with everyone. mooyeol is starting to get on my nerves. a little. because he's so righteous, all the fucking time. and then there's hong jonghyeon, which everyone should know is one of my favourite boys because well, he's gorgeous.  his character jaegyu (I CALL MYSELF JAEKYU. THIS MUST BE FATE) is an average joe and he's pretty much confused as to why he's been targeted. he's very quiet through out so you tend to forget his presence. i wouldn't, of course, since i would donate a liver to meet this guy xD and this here is kim yeong gwan.  he's been in his share of dramas and is a pretty famous model. he's so fine ♥. in this drama he's a cowardly bully. he has a really strong personality and doesn't seem to be quite blessed in the intellectual department. there's also soohyuk. made famous due to him being bffs with gdragon.  he's yunsu, the weird one that hallucinates -due to the drugs- and the artistic one. he's mostly seen with a guitar or with headphones on, generally being creepy. and then we have the most complex character- the crazy kang mir guy with his strong features and red hair... (real name kim hyunjoong)  he's really attractive to me for some reason. guess i like bad boys after all. i like this actor. when he's trying to be tough, man, is he. but when mooyeol found out his secret, the doubt and vunerability on his face for that brief moment, you feel like his character has softened. and when he smiles, all trace of that toughness melts away, leaving a young boy of 18. i recognise him from pictures with jongsuk and jonghyun. i loooove this show. epik till the death of me; 12:12 AM Monday, February 14, 2011 his voice is hypnotising you close your eyes, listen to him talk no, you're not listening; you're just hearing nothing he says registers in your mind it's just a comforting sound a low bassline he's talking about something serious forehead wrinkled in contemplation you smile serenely lost in the world you built with darkness and wind he doesn't stop because he doesn't need a listener just wants someone to hear his words so he can voice out his worries let them wash away with time and you you just like the sound of his voice this works somehow. ♥ happy valentines day :) hope you aren't as #foreveralone as i am. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 7:03 AM Monday, February 07, 2011 to the beautiful girl with the killer thighs, you are dropd ead gorgeous. when you walked into class and flipped your hair so perfectly i was momentarily stunned. my eyes were drawn to you. you have charisma, girl. don't ever lose it. love, to the boy that hates carrots, oh my. you were a surprise. it was entirely by accident that i stumbled onto you, and i'm glad that i did. you are my replacement for the father of one. you are a healthier obsession. love, to you. quite honestly i don't know what to do with you. should i let myself fall or should i not? i don't want to be just another grain of sand. i want to be the ocean. love, to yoon leader. you're a naughty little bitch that sneaks into my dreams and lays down unrealistic hopes. i still hope you visit my dreams more often. love, to prince charming, i'm waiting.ps. to cupid, i need to have a word with you. Labels: letters. epik till the death of me; 8:18 PM Saturday, February 05, 2011 happy chinese new year my darlings~ so um, these past 5 days have been an eating fest. at least 7 meals a day, nonstop. and omg the alcohol. yes the alcohol. it's kind of a cny tradition for the younger generation to get together and drink on the eve of chinese new year, and this is the first year that i'm legal to drink keke. between the six of us we polished off 2 bottles of wine, one bottle of coffee liquor and one bottle of chinese rice wine. that means each of us had at least 5 full glasses of MIXED alcohol. and the scary thing is? we were all still very fucking sober. we even had fun trying to get the kids to drink by telling them the wine was coke and the coffee liquor was tea. so yes, this will be a short update, because i need to sleep and rest my poor stomach and kidneys. happy bunny year guys ♥ 
ps. why are my double eyelids mismatched ? D:
pps. like i said before, i don't play with firecrackers because i like having all my limbs intact, thank you very much.epik till the death of me; 12:46 AM |