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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 this will be a terribly self indulgent series of posts on fandom :) i always knew i was going to end up in fandom one way or another. any fandom. when i was 7, i was the only girl in class with a pink spice girls bag and a matching pencil case with baby spice grinning up at me. as i grew older, i fell into punk rock- simple plan, green day, good charlotte. my friends were listening to them and naturally so did i. i wrote countless letters to pierre, some in my mind, some on actual papers, and mentally sent them off, hoping that one day, he would look at me and notice my existence. at 12, i delved into my roots and got into wang leehom. it was my first taste of insane fandom. i queued for 5 hour under the rain, on wet sand, for his autograph. it wasn't my first fandom activity however; that was jolin when i was 10, and i still remember the way she looked straight in my eyes to thank me as she signed my album. everything started the year i entered high school. i've heard kpop before; hard not to, when my best friend was crazy over rain. she made little scrapbooks of him and had his posters all over her walls. somehow, my sister showed me this nifty little video showing a couple of boys singing. what was that language, japanese? and dear god, what was that hair?? the group was tvxq, the year was 2006, and that was the beginning of everything. tvxq was the group that made me learn korean. they were the group that fired the gun shot to this kpop race (to the bottom T__T) and for that, thank you. from them i ventured. i discovered superjunior, fell into them harder than i did for tvxq. for a long while, donghae was my everything. i loved him genuinely, and he made the hard nights a little easier. of all the fandoms, i think superjunior would be the hardest for me to let go. they were my longest fandom, and even though my feels for them may have muted in the past year, they will forever be a part of me. more fandoms came. bigbang was a big part of my 2006-8. they weren't popular yet, just raw and young. i loved it. i loved the energy, the sound, the style. jiyong displaced donghae as my number 1 for a bit because he was someone that i've never seen before. my love for them pattered out sometime after last farewell, because they simply weren't the people i fell in love with, but that's okay. 2pm was my next major fandom. 2008, the documentary hot blood came out. i watched, i raved, i voted. i voted for junsu a lot, and doojoon too. i was absolutely crushed when doojoon didn't make the cut in the end, and tbh it made me resent changmin for a bit. that was doojoon's spot. it soon became clear that changmin was a good part of the team, and i grew to love him too. taecyeon was my favourite at first because he was so great, but it was junho who ended up stealing my heart in the end. my stint in 2pm fandom lasted until after a year after jay left. with members that i've seen in bigbang and one day fandom, how could i not like beast? they were the underdogs and i was compelled to like them, out of principle alone. the minute i listened to bad girl, i was instantly hooked. beast is down to earth and by far, the best at doling out fanservice. they were likable idols, approachable idols. they were sweethearts. there were more, dalmatian, ft island, teen top.... khiphop, k-indie, uljjangs, kdrama, k-models. i have drabbled in every part of korean culture. epik high wasn't a fandom, rather, a lifestyle? their songs were the ones who helped me through the down times. tablo was the one who inspired me to improve my english. epik high. formed such a big part of my development that i will never, ever, ever leave this group behind. their music has driven me to newer heights and pastures. epik high is what music should do. epik high is what i respect and finally, the group... the group that changed everything about me... it changed the way i stan, the way i think, the people i met, the clothes i wore. the world has never seen a group like exo. 12 boys, so beautiful, so raw. a concept, so crazy and yet ingenious. what song is that; did they think they were a cult? the boys were unprepared for stage. for a group that was so hyped up, they failed to deliver. exo will never work. exo worked. why exo inspired unprecedented levels of insanity, no one can say for sure, but they did, and they shook the music world. the exo fandom was crazy from the start- edits, fanfics, long rants. no other fandom has ever reached the highs of what exo fandom has reached. i fell into exo fandom faster than i did for any other group, and stanned them harder than i've ever been before. i met so many new people through exo, and some of these people have become really good friends. i've spent so much money and done so many crazy things, all for this young group. it was with them that i started to take fanfic seriously. before that, i've always written, but with exo ficdom, suddenly, i had a name? i was recognised! i was genuinely confused because i have gone through so many years of my fandom life being quiet and suddenly people were like omg you wrote this? i loved it! and i was just ?? really? i've ben translating for years too, but when i did the same for exo fandom, suddenly people were reading it. my follower count exploded. i am still confused. i think i'll be in exo fandom for a long, long time. this post is all over the place because i'm writing it at shit am, but i guess i wanted to document my fandom experience properly. i might rewrite this when i'm more coherent, but bye for now. epik till the death of me; 12:27 PM |