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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
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Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Wednesday, August 27, 2008 I don't like Soul Cuts. Honestly, I liked the album he made with Tablo. That album was brilliant. Limited rapping, just some repeated dialogue. That was more instrumentally focused. The new album is mainly rap. To those who know Korean, it may be a great album, like Remapping the Human Soul was. To non Korean speakers like me, rap songs start blending into one another after a while because I only understand a small portion of the lyrics. I have to resort to translations but not everyone is willing to translate works by Korean hiphop artists because their lyrics are more poetic, subtle and are hard to translate. Some meanings get lost in translation as well. The beauty of Alive: Soul Cuts is mostly lost on me, just like I appreciate only a portion of Remapping. I like the title track though. Alive. I love Yankee's rapping. I always imagined him... I don't know, never really put a face to this rapping genius, but I imagined maybe something like TBNY? But when I saw how he looks like in the Alive mv, I was surprised. Yankee looks like a fresh graduate, with typical Korean looks and black rimmed glasses. Hardcore rapper he certainly is not. He looks almost cute, in the studious college student kind of way. Pe2ny looks plain too. So does Tablo in fact. They all wear the same glasses with the same hairstyle and same features. Without music, they would disappear in a crowd. Did I mention I love Yankee's rapping? I like MYK's too, especially when he raps in English. HIs english is clear and crisp. Mithra's voice is deep and focuses on speed. He's like a speeding bullet when he raps. I consider him as one of the best rappers I've heard. Tablo likes to emphasize on the last sound when he raps. "Hiphop is BACK." "DJ Two CUTZ." And he has that slight nasal accent that makes his rap less intimidating. Sigh. I can't pull myself out of this feeling of respect and awe. epik till the death of me; 10:42 PM
► I'm not sure what GD was thinking. I don't know whether to applaud him for his bravery or whack him on the head with a hammer for his stupidity. THIS BOY WAS CHOSEN AS STYLE ARTIST KOREA. Then again, ANDRE KIM is the best designer in korea. What did he do exactly? You may already know. Netizens all over the world are laughing at him. Look at what he wore to the MNet choice awards. First of all, its leopard print. The hideousity should have stopped with wonder girls. Also, someone took out his anger on his sleeves and ripped them off. And then there were those words. "I love sex." "Fuck you too." Nice baby, it'll earn you a lot of fans. Not the first time he wore shirts that screamed sex either. He wore a shirt that can barely be considered a shirt in the haru haru performances. the arms holes are huge. on a skinny scrawnny person like gd, it just looks sad. he wore shutter glasses too. EVERYONE has those now. dont wear them anymore, boy! Still, I love that boy for his devil-could-care kickass attitude. Btw, Mozilla screws up my blog template. I hate mozilla. epik till the death of me; 9:28 PM Saturday, August 23, 2008 FT Island has a new album out! not that i care that much. they went to japan; i consider that deserting us. Minhwan darling, you're 16. Why are you emoing? And Hongki, that's a good hairstyle. Jonghun, not so much. Oh! Celestial movies is apparently playing Attack of the pin up boys soon! Too bad I don't subscribe to that channel. damn its hard to type when you have plasters over half your fingers. epik till the death of me; 8:43 PM Wednesday, August 20, 2008 我喜欢会在女人面前流泪的男人。我喜欢会为人女人而流泪的男人。 因为我永远不会在别人面哭泣。我喜欢被别人保护；奇怪的是，我也喜欢保护别人。 我被他搂在怀里；他被我搂在怀里，互相保护。这是我所谓的幸福吧。 epik till the death of me; 8:27 PM Sunday, August 17, 2008 Damn it. Came back from a night over at my friends and screamed my head off. I havent been this excited since... DBJR+SHINNE <3 YUNHO, JAEJOONG, EETEUK ABS. Fuck. They KNOW how to kill fangirls. HYUKSU singing one love. AND THAT DANCE FROM HIGHSCHOOL DAYS! DONGHAE HUGGING THEN KISSING YOOCHUN. I saw you trying to ass the mike to Jaejoong. I also saw him taking a step away from you. Is that why you hugged yunho not long later? XD HOW CAN I NOT BE happpppppppeeeeeeeeeeee? it will take HOURS for my highness to wear down. epik till the death of me; 3:23 PM Friday, August 15, 2008 한국말을 쓰면 널 이할수없어 ㅋㅋㅋ 사랑받고싶어. 요즘 좀 외롭다. 드라마를 많이 봤 어서? I shouldnt quote something as cheesy as 원더걸스, but i cant say it doesnt express how i feel.I COULD find something more meaningful from 에픽하이 but their 가사 are too much to swallow when im feeling emo. 쪼요쪼요 말해 쪼요쪼요 보여 쪼요쪼요 나를 사랑하는 만큼 안아 쪼요쪼요 꼭 안아 쪼요쪼요 전해 쪼요쪼요 그 맘을 느낄수 있게 사랑은 말못할 느낌이죠 Dont you just hate it when people like me use some language that you dont understand? My point exactly. I see too many people I know directly coming in here, and its limiting my freedom of speech. This wasnt meant for the prying eyes of the kids in my class, its meant for myself and maybe some girl from the other side of the world that i can bond with over our shared love of music. So i am forced to use another language, and if you do understand me, i apologize for any mistakes that i have written. epik till the death of me; 6:26 PM Friday, August 08, 2008 two things to spazz about: One, The Olympics Opening. Two, BigBang's new album <3 Wow, the opening was cool. Definately the best ever. I pity the next organisers. How can they top THAT? I can imagine the Westerners being bored with all the Chinese history and art. But I'm Chinese and proud of it. I've been watching too much patriotism lately, but sadly non of my own country. I am in awe at how the people of China, Japan and Korea are so proud of their country. ME? I sit by and laugh at my own country, the one I do not want to admit i belong to. Next, THE ALBUM. I'm buying the album for sure. But it looks like i have to wait a while, since all the albums are sold out already. haru haru doesn't make as big a bang like last farewell and lies, but its still nice! i love stand up though. so typically bigbang, and yet thats what i like about them. AND 착한 사람. I LIKE.I sense a new addiction Oh My Friend is fresh. Nothing Bigbang ever tried. Screamy teenagy rockish bigbang. makes me wanna jump around and scream too XD lady is cute. makes me think of beaches and palm trees <3 천국 is just average. Nothing special. Theres one in every album. the MV oh no her again.and with top, no less. if top stared at me with those fierce eyes, i would run. But damn. I LOVE HOW GD TRIES TO ACT COOL. ITS SO HOT. Too skinny though. i'll have to fatten him up a bit. you know what would make a good ending? If gd and top decide they have the hots for each other *cough* i wish the other members get more screentime though. GD and TOP always feature the most since they sing the most. maybe its time the magnaes shine. but then the effect would probably be different because the magnaes have baby faces! Oh, and YAY FOR HANKYUNG TORCH BEARER! epik till the death of me; 10:28 PM Thursday, August 07, 2008 You know how you never really get over that one guy? He hasn't surfaced in my thoughts for two yers, I haven't SEEN him for three.Yet i still want to see how he changed. Deprived, I am. epik till the death of me; 9:50 AM Tuesday, August 05, 2008 Pajama Party is crap. In a good way. the song has very subtle pervertish tones. it puts very wrong ideas in my head. but thats good, because come on, they're 22-25, and no NORMAL hot blooded male will just have pillow nights all night. Hell, even I won't be thinking of jumping on sofas all night. I'll be doing *something else* on said sofa. and i'm 15. I WANT TO HAVE A PAJAMA PARTY WITH HYUKJAE! he can bring the mentioned champagne and cook and maybe fulfill those sly thoughts he has. epik till the death of me; 10:30 PM Sunday, August 03, 2008 Why didn't they broadcast the red carpet? Or maybe it was a good thing, considering how crazy things was. I wrote this yesterday, before I watched the broadcast of the awardshow. They muted the audience so much that you couldn't feel the atmosphere. sucks. they didn't film our banners much too, so it seemed like there weren't many fans of suju. If you read my previous fan account, you would know I was calm when I stalked them at the airport. At the red carpet and award show, I was the complete opposite of calm. Maybe its because the boys were not in danger in any way. Maybe its because SBS has its camera right in our faces. Maybe its because we want the world to know that Superjunior is loved. Whatever reason, we fangirls did our best in screaming and supporting our boys. I think we scared the media. Like, oh shoot, hysterical teenage girls. We certainly surprised the MTV staff. By chance, 50% of my group was suju fangirls. All of us wore blue. RED CARPET When we arrived, all the tall people were already in front. We got a crappy place to stand. All of us fangirls were grumbling but we screamed for suju and held out our banners whenever the media took pictures. Then all the other people started mocking us. When we screamed, they would boo. They also screamed "sejuk", which means cold over and over. We're a bunch of teenage girls dressed in the exact same colour, a little too enthusiastic, screaming in our high pitched tone seemingly without reason, fangirling too loudly. I understand why they mock. But they're very nice, really. Most let us squeeze in front when suju appeared. A few shared their photos with us. I saw one guy help a girl to take Kangin's autograph. But then Nice Mtv lady told us she'll let us into a special area when Suju arrived, but we were to leave that area when Suju left. Of course we agreed. Suju appeared, looking smart in their black outfits. I reached out, screaming Heechul's name, because he was the closest. To my surprise, Donghae leaned over, stretched out his hand, enveloped my hand in his and squeezed it three times. I think he smiled at me. All I remember is feeling something warm, and firm but soft; heaven! I SAY ITS FATE. I MEANT TO HOLD HEECHUL BUT DONGHAE HELD MY HAND VOLUNTARILY INSTEAD. (Note: HE held me, I didn't claw at him or anything. Don't burst my fangirly bubble.) I mean, Donghae was quite a distance away from me. My number one boy is Hae and I would've screamed his name if I thought he was in arm's reach but he made it happen. <3 I stared a while in shock before I turned over and screamed in someone's ear, "Donghae held my hand!" We followed them along the runway as they walked, screaming all the way. I could hear people everywhere saying things like, "Supersenior!", "The girls are so young!" Me and a friend started signing the boards fencing off the carpet area. We covered an entire area with kpop related things. Suju, Dbsk, Bigbang, Epikhigh etc were mentioned. MAA We shuffled into the moshpit area. There were a bunch of fangirls in a corner and we went over to have a look. <3 suju was sitting there! Right in front of us! They didn't smile or wave at us much, probably because their managers were there. When pussycat dolls performed, my eyes were trained on suju. Sungmin, Shindong and Hyukjae shook his head to the music. Donghae snapped his fingers. The first award was Best Artist Korea and duh Suju won. They went on stage with us screaming like mad. Siwon spoke English, which I couldn't hear due to the sheer volume of the screams. (I caught the broadcast when I got home and rofled at his adorable english) They left the stage and other people moved into their seats. And then more people went on, which I completely cannot remember, because they aren't Suju. After Leona Lewis was Suju. I have never screamed so much in my life. Donghae, Kyuhyun, Yesung, Sungmin, Ryeowook, Hyukjae stood on stage. I jumped and absolutely went crazy when the first notes of Mirror started playing. They were good! But Donghae looked... Uncertain and lost. Sungmin enjoyed it, closing his eyes and swaying to the music. Everyone else looked bored. After that, the rest of the boys ran onto stage and beginning of Don't Don played, but it mixed into Kaljung instead. They sang for an awfully long time, much to my delight. Eeteuk ripped open his shirt and wow, my section went crazy. Much of the rest is a complete blur. Labels: fan account epik till the death of me; 2:35 PM Friday, August 01, 2008 I'm lazy, alright? Used my post at SJFH and pasted it here. ITS THE SAME ANYWAY. I'm syurviving on four hours of sleep. I could've touched them if I wanted to, but no way am I doing that. I wouldn't like to be touched by random girls clawing at me either. I saw how most of the girls at the airport went psychotic and frankly I was a little disgusted. Maybe it's because I fangirled one time too many, but I was surprisingly calm. Sure I was a little nervous, but once the boys appeared, I stayed rational. No screaming at all. I wasn't even that high after the stalking, just average. Which is weird, since I love suju more than anything in the world.I think I screamed more when I stalked ft, and I don't even like ft that much. My section was having fun with the KMTV reporter (My sis and I asked her in Korean to confirm). She asked us to say some stuff to Suju, and we were so nervous that we stuttered a bit. Then she asked us to scream SARANGHAEYO SUPERJUNIOR. Another reporter (I was screaming at him to get his attention and ask where he was from, but he didn't hear me) took pictures of us, because we were dressed in blue and held various placards. I heard screaming and perked up. The boys appeared. Almost everyone were wearing huge glasses. Heechul, Eeteuk, Sungmin, Hyukjae, Heechul came in the first batch. I spotted heads, searched for Hyukjae first. Heechul was hugging Eeteuk, I think to protect him. So we ran. I said annyonghaseyo (calm and friendly, like how I would say it to my Korean teacher, not screaming and psychotic) to Sungmin and he smiled and nodded at me, his extremely polite smile. After going down the escalators, I said annyonghaseyo to Heechul and Eeteuk too. Heechul said thank you twice to me in this adorable accent. He was sprouting random English words, "Woah, yo, step back, thank you, thank you!" I think he was amused; he had this slight delighted smile on his face. Hell, these girls are screamin for ME! Most girls left with the first batch, but hey, HOW COULD I MISS MY FISHIE? While most girls waited for Suju at the arrival area, I went straight ahead when I heard the screams. I knew they would pass through that lane, and I chose to wait there instead of squeezing with the other girls. I saw Siwon. Very clear, right in front of me, taller than I expected. He had on earphones and was extremely courteous. I thought of saying a few words since I was the only fangirl there, but I decided against it. Still, he held up his hand in that beauty pagaent wave in my direction. I suppose it was directed at me, since like I said, the other girls weren't there yet. I was so close to Siwon, but I have a target, and he was the last boy. I let Kyuhyun pass by, looking pale in his hat and glasses. He's surprisingly tall. I envisioned short and nerdy, I saw tall and skinny. He was so white it was scary. And then Ryeowook walked by, small, afraid and pitiful. I think he's about the same height as me, or close. I think I can knock him down in a fight. Then MY TARGET appeared. Donghae had on a hat that should long curly locks underneath. Obviously he didn't cut his hair. I followed, staying a nice distance. My sis and her friend however, followed Kyu. They called his name and Donghae, Kyuhyun and Ryeowook turned around. They waved. The guards blocked the escalator, so we had to take the lift. In the end, I gave up. We hopped on a van and drove to Jw Marriot where we booked a RM500 room. The boys were supposed to stay there. It was then that we learned that Suju was going up to Genting. So we thought, screw it, let's go play so we don't waste this room. Have you ever tried dancing Yoriwang on the sidewalk in the middle of the city at 3am? Try it, it's fun. Every single car who passed by slowed down to stare at us. And who can blame them? I'll be back tomorrow, no, the day after tomorrow with a fan account of moshpitting in MAA and being at the Red Carpet. Look for me in the crowd! Labels: fan account epik till the death of me; 2:21 PM |