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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Saturday, October 31, 2009 can't believe i actually sang in public. no matter what you guys say, i still stick firm to the thought that i suck. - anyway am not happy, you guys. so i was bored amd googled ubk dinner and got into the blog of one of the attendees last night. and from her blog, i went to more form 2s. out of 10, 9.5 of them are fangirling kpop. one more time, and i don't care if i sound silly or bitchy, i hate the fact that everyone is into kpop. because i'm immature and just to comfort myself YO, ALL OF YOU. ＊ I have been fangirling since 06. almost three and a half years. ＊ I learned the LANGUAGE for more than two years. That means I can actually understand the songs that they sing and I can watch shows without subs. it also means that i'm making fun of you behind your back. ＊ I have close to 40 Korean albums and more than RM500 worth of official merchandise including tshirts, pencil boxes, badges, bags, lightsticks and other concert stuff. ＊ I have gone airport stalking four times ＊ gone to 4 korean related fansignings ＊ three korean concerts (could've been four, but ftisland cancelled theirs) ＊ been out of the country without parents supervision to watch a concert once ＊ seen at least 15 korean artists live (TVXQ. Superjunior. SS501. Rain. FT Island. 2PM. VOS. Wondergirls. Jewelry. And more) ＊ have followed bigbang, 2pm, 2am, ft island, shinee and a lot more newbie artists since predebut. ＊ can recognise and sing, if not hum along to more than 1000 korean songs. (my computer notes a total of 4000+ korean songs) ＊ can recognise and name a ridiculous amount of artists ＊ can practically give a LECTURE on the happenings of kpop in the recent four years. ＊ I think i know more about recent pop culture than the average korean. and now i've just proved my lifelessness. ohmygod :| i feel so pathetic xD but also a lot better and before i forget... (and i KEEP forgetting)  Labels: insaneness, rant. epik till the death of me; 10:07 PM Thursday, October 29, 2009 lol! twitter explains each popular topic briefly and look what it has to say about the #whattimeisitnow trending topic! #whattimeisitnow is a popular topic on Twitter right now.i find it hilarious how some people are just going "3:42pm!" or "time to eat!" maybe someone will say "TTL (time to love)!" epik till the death of me; 1:07 AM Tuesday, October 27, 2009 i realised a little too late that just because a dress is free size, it doesn't mean it fits all HEIGHTS. i see london, i see france, if you get what i mean. so i have another one. but its a bit... hm?  epik till the death of me; 11:19 PM Saturday, October 24, 2009 :D roleplaying is fun! doing junho in one and jinwoon in another. but you know me, i can't be innocent so hah, totally trashing jinwoon's cute fluffy image. would jinwoon drink? idk, i think he does. epik till the death of me; 11:05 PM Tuesday, October 20, 2009 I have the mv too, even though i normally hate mvs that don't have storylines. (but the mv is so slick and shiny!) i think bad girl is one of the better debut songs i've heard. and believe me when i say i've heard A LOT of debut songs. its weird, I don't fall for newbies that i didn't follow since predebut- ever. (i've known ftisland, 2am and 2pm since they were trainees. and i was one of the first few posters at ast'1's forum, which was the last debutee i tried to like but i guess beast doesn't really count, since a) i loved doojoon in hotblood, even voted for doojoon A LOT b) i watched all of bigbang's documentaries with hyunseung in it. didn't like him then, don't like him now. c) junhyang was popping dragon from xing. lol i still remember when they came out they were marketed as the next tvxq . it all went downhill when marumir (love his name) quit. d) come on, AJ... dancing shoes? which seasoned kpop fan doesn't know him? i much prefer AJ to gikwang though. his name looks horrible romanized. e) dongwoon is SO cute, of course i noticed his predebut pics with taec and daehun and the other JYPE trainees! so that leaves one kid, but he was in Aj's song so... huh. i guess i DID follow them since predebut after all. i even ranked them up already! 1. yoon doojoon 2. yang yoseob 3. lee kikwang 4. son dongwoon 5. yong junhyung 6. jang hyunseung lets see if it'll change in the future. or if i even still like them. ps. shinee's get down is the most annoying kpop song i've ever heard. shinee girl would've placed at a close second, but i think there are songs more worthy of that title. epik till the death of me; 10:26 PM Thursday, October 15, 2009 →tukutz is officially married and enlisted! NO EPIKHIGH FOR TWO YEARS. it hasn't really sunk in yet. maybe soon. →KWILL HAS SWINE FLU T__________T i didn't really care when hyunjoong or yamapi got it (sorry!) but omg kwill. →they used 트로트 for the mv!!! totally inappropriate but whatever. and high technology too. and as usual, there's blood and/or breaking things. those epik boys sure like morbid stuff. but lol, this time theres not one, but three amazingly hot girls! →i REALLY want to watch you're beautiful and IRIS →WONBIN IS BACK OMG SOBS MISS YOU. song sucks but whatever. → BEAST!!!!! i looove doojoon but i'm not too fond, okay extremely unfond of seunghyun. their song ain't bad. → MBLAQ however. what a disappointment. but i haven't been expecting much since sandara park's bro went in because that guy... is not my thing. → still waiting for child of empire! violin guy, i have my sights set on you! →TTL is just a tweaked sample of choshinsung's previous song, superstar. why doesn't anyone realise that? maybe no one cared enough about css then? → damn it, i'll be in japan when they have that 5 hour long concert in singapore. → should i go see lee minho in kl or not? Labels: lists epik till the death of me; 9:08 PM Wednesday, October 14, 2009 
how appropriate.
INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. epik till the death of me; 2:54 PM Tuesday, October 13, 2009 omg this quote. '0' 과 '1' 사이, 거리가 너무 멀어...its so fucking awesome. but you won't get it unless you know korean... or unless i translate it :D there's a big distance between 0 and 1. thats why its forever. okay that made no sense. see 0 is pronounced young in korean. and in english 1 is well, one. so 01 is youngwon. epik till the death of me; 5:37 PM Monday, October 12, 2009 and then it struck me- the crowd of people i feel that i should belong in they've been there all along. they think, talk like me. have almost the same interests as me. (we talked about who topped, hyde or gackt, in the presence of a teacher) they're the ones with their noses buried in books all the time. they're right there. exactly what i wanted. so why do i know i won't fit in? epik till the death of me; 9:39 PM Wednesday, October 07, 2009 tukutz. marriage :D enlisting D: anyway * huh. look here. a review of my bro's self released album. he sent us a copy. its basically a selfmade cd with illustrations and everything. pretty amateurish packaging (in other words, looks like a 12 year old could've done it, but my brother never said he was an artist) but who buys it for the pretty factor? the music is pretty nice. not exactly my style, but come on, my music playlist mostly consists of overly made up 23 year olds who don't act their age (though i'm trying really hard to deepen my music tastes :D my most played album is eternal morning by pe2ny and tablo. does that count?). its.. postrock. not surprising, since he listens to Explosions in the Skym Mogwai, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and other similar sounding bands. and he actually has buyers. maybe i sound a bit too... well, i can't think of the right word at the moment, but i guess you can sense what i mean. but really, i respect the guy. he's done things i wish i could do, but can never. (i can't exactly spend two months on the road by myself, can i? with my looks, some psycho is just waiting around the corner to pounce on me. i kid.) we have this system going. we talk but we don't communicate. nowadays, the only way i keep in touch with what he's doing is through twitter. i do my thing, he does his thing, we share the occasional joke and thats it. even when he's being a total bast- jerk, like lately, i don't give him flak. i think its better that way. at least ONE member of the family doesn't nag him. i think he considers me to be the one closest to his wave length. if he wants to talk politics or economics or tell a joke, he'll come to me because he knows that i'm the only one in the family that will understand him. which means that my sense of humour is dark and twisted and perverted. but still, thats better than having none at all. he's a pretty cool guy. i just wish he'll wake up to reality and realize that with the way he's taking things, he's going to wind up with a mob of offended people at his door. epik till the death of me; 7:43 PM Sunday, October 04, 2009 if we believe the mayan prophecy, or the i ching, or the revelation in the bible, or even a creepily accurate web program called the web-bot, there are only 1173 Days more till we perish. the moon, sun, earth and the milky way will align for the first time in 26, 000 years. so.. a major climate change similar to that 5200 years might kill us all. the recent natural disasters seem to point at this theory. if not, Planet Nibiru might crash into us, hence destroying part of, if not all of earth. Or when the galactic alignment occurs, a black hole will form and suck us all in. so if we believe it, which i don't, i'm going to die before i turn 20. and my previous post would never come too. the future is a scary thing. epik till the death of me; 10:58 PM
► do i have big dreams? unrealistic dreams? i think i have simple dreams that are harder to achieve than they seem to be. i am in a nutshell, a self-confessed wannabe. i want to be anything and everything that i'm not now. i want to be artistic, to be talented in languages and stocked full with the useless pieces of information you only pick up by experience. i have a Vision of my future. and it isn't here. grass is always greener on the other side and all that, eh? i'd gladly choose a job with a crappy pay but short hours over wealth at a price of 45 hour weeks. i need time for myself, to learn all i can while i can. i want to learn to paint, to make jewelry, to pole dance (yes, even pole dancing seems awesome), to continue my lessons in pottery that i stopped so long ago. i want to master korean, japanese, french. i want to jetset across the world because i drink up cultures of any kind. how do they live? what do they eat? i want to prop myself up against a tree in a lush green campus, earphones in my ear and scribbling stories and such onto my notepad. i want more than anything to be drinking a fancy cocktail in a jazz bar, preferably Once in a Blue Moon, because its a really famous (read: overrated) jazz bar. and what i wouldn't give to party all night in hongdae, hoping in and out of clubs, bars and 24 hour karaoke places. but thats just a few of many. i know many people don't share my sentiments. some dream big, aiming for ivy leagues and medical school. some bow down, taking over daddy's business and living a typical 9 to 5 job. and then there are those people who don't even dream. they don't see the point in furthering their studies beyond the basic few years of college. they think of backpacking, homestays, cultural exchange programs as a waste of time and money. they feel that by doing outdoor activies like camping trips and mountain climbing, we're just feeding the mosquitoes. and worse of all, they are absolutely ignorant, thinking that letting the tap flow while they're checking themselves out in the mirror is perfectly fine, thinking that people like this won't get very far in life. they'll grow up the same way their parents and grandparents did. they'll pop out a kid or two. continue to suck horribly in english and will be stuck in this failing country for the next 5 generations. there will be no new experiences where they learn a foreign language or an instrument or a skill. they will not pour their heart and soul into creating art, be it in the form of music, paintings or literature. forever they'll be stuck with their limited views of life. the world they know of is the box they live in. its just so sad to even think about. what a waste of a perfectly good life. Labels: rant. epik till the death of me; 9:30 PM |