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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Sunday, April 25, 2010 ugh previously not being able to sleep just annoyed me. now it's bad enough to make me go crazy. some nights i want to ram my head into the wall so i might konk out or something. anything to fall asleep and shut. my. brain. up. cause you know, when you can't sleep, your mind never stops thinking. and it's enough to make me go fucking bonkers. and maybe it's because i'm so tired all the time (and i mean , all the time), i lost my appetite too. i didn't eat breakfast and lunch today because just the thought of eating made me shudder. another side effect: moodiness. i am a ticking time bomb right now. the slightest things can make me pissed or emotional. just a warning. something is seriously wrong with me. enough about that. /spazzes posted this: you wanna see me fall right? (haters) like a candle on a windy night. yeah right. as a facebook status update and immediately a guy replied just watch me do this. take a breath, hold tight. i am never going down without a fight. aight? (: may i add, that when i was spazzing about junjou romantica a long time ago, he admitted that he watched till episode six. !!!! that's six more episodes than what any normal guy would watch. anyway, i'm kind of madly in love with don't stop can't stop now. it's kind of a not-so-subtle way to tell antis to stfu. especially khun's rap cause he's kinda fail like that. except, you know, antis being antis, continue to be antis. the album sales are just pitiful. so it continues: the innocent boys who try so hard to revive their music career when they've done nothing wrong get bashed while the kid who started it all gets off scotfree and even manages to score movie deals and collabs with famous producers. wonderful. (don't get me wrong bby, i love you, just not the people who call themselves your fans. be careful, kid. look how easily they turned their back on your mates. that might happen to you too. oh, and happy birthday, mr.23-year-old!) epik till the death of me; 8:22 PM Tuesday, April 20, 2010 innocence? she doesn't recall. growing up too fast, hiding teddy bears and dolls under the bed until they collect dust and become moth eaten. curling up in a ball in her sizable walk-in closet, clenching fisted scarves up to her ears in an effort to block out the yelling and the screaming and the shattering of glass thrown against the wall. naive. was she ever? (mom, look what i drew, she says, blinking up at her ever perfect, ever polished mother and tugging at her sleeve. wrong timing. but it's never a good timing. her mother glares at her through her half empty wine glass, not an ounce of warmth on her overly botoxed face and she shrinks back, wondering why she even tried) drawing becomes her escape. she relishes the feeling when the charcoal scratches across the canvas leaving dark impressions. up down left right her hands moves in rough strokes until the charcoal breaks into two and she falls to the floor, body racking with sobs. brushing her stained fingers across her tear streaked (and now charcoal streaked) cheeks, she looks at the expression of joy on the little girl on canvas and wonders how she knows that image when she's never even experienced it. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 12:18 AM Sunday, April 18, 2010 you guys! unless someone wants to go with me to the ukiss thing (i booked ace seats pretty early but haven't paid yet) i won't be going. my friend didn't want to go cause of the no siggies thing. so, anyone wanna go with me? just wondering, why would those idiots 'like' the announcement where its stated that we can't get signatures? epik till the death of me; 10:19 PM Friday, April 16, 2010 한국말로 서볼 까? 연습해 야 돼, 지금. 아~ 지금 너무 외럽다! 요즘 나랑 이야기하는 사람이 다 동생인데. 난 나 보다 어린 친구랑 사귀는 거 절대 안돼! 그냥 누나-동...생사....이... ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 난... 불쌍하지? anyway, i've concluded that sleeping is a waste of time. i'm somewhat of an insomniac and depending on the night, i have trouble falling asleep. on good days, it takes me half an hour or less; on bad days, i simply don't sleep. ideally, my day would start at 11am and end at 4am, because that's just how my body is hardwired to be. i'm such a night person it affects my everyday activities. no matter how hard i try to adjust my body clock, it doesn't work. now its even worse because even now that i've successfully set my wakeup time (i wake up naturally at 7am even on sundays @#%$!), my body still insists on letting me fall asleep at close to dawn. that means i'm pretty much a zombie by the time noon rolls around and i'm almost always taking a nap in the afternoon. maybe i should look up on careers at night like... keke ^^ epik till the death of me; 8:22 PM Friday, April 09, 2010 
taken at 7am, at kuala kangsar, perak.예쁘죠? :D → ooh going to camp tomorrow. except you know, i won't be playing since i'm the facilitator. all i have to do is sit back and bark orders. oh, and laugh at the campers' fail. ah, it's good being a senior~ →i miss this a whole bunch :(  after 4 years, he still takes my breath away. huh, which kinda proves that i can commit to something (someone) after all. → I WANT A NEW SG WANNABE ALBUM KTHXBAI. → started watching cinderella's sister (ep4) and personal taste (ep1). personal taste bored the crap out of me because frankly, as much as i love yejin and seulong, i simply can't stand minho. still stuck at ep4 for oh my lady because it isn't subbed yet :| plus, it's boring me as well. cinderella seems good though, because i adore everyone (except maybe seo woo) in that show.h epik till the death of me; 10:55 PM Monday, April 05, 2010 Tablo loves rainy days. He likes running out into the rain, letting the raindrops wash over him, washing away pain, sin and despair. He ignores the weird looks that the other people who are scurrying for cover give him. Today someone isn't running. Someone is standing beside him, silently watching the rain make rings and ripples in the puddles. The hunched body is dripping wet and looks pitiful, almost like a puppy left in the rain. The boy looks up and smiles to show that he is fine and he speaks softly, so softly the pattering of the rain almost drowns his voice, "I was wondering why you stood here. It's kind of fun." He smiles again, wider this time, and all Tablo can see is blinding white teeth with some pink gums. Tablo's head spins and he flies to heaven. 거미줄 cobweb ; tablo/hyukjae ; posted on dec. 12th, 2008 at 01:57 pm sigh. i wish i could write again. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 6:23 PM Sunday, April 04, 2010 so i finally got my new glasses today! they're a striking shade of red. everyone is like ...red? are you sure... but i love them! why red? i saw him. he's lee soohee, an adorable uljjang.  once i got over the OMFGCUTE factor, i realised that red was a pretty cool colour. so from these...  i switched to these! (haha watch me try to imitate him. /fail/) 
people will be surprised but who cares? i love them! /has weird tastes/ i may start wearing them outside the classroom, maybe. not that i particularly need them. my power is only 75 in the right eye and none in the left. for astigmatism its 50/50. whee~ ♥ epik till the death of me; 9:53 PM Saturday, April 03, 2010 realmithrajin @2AMjinwoon 트윗 세상에 온 걸 환영한다 ㅋㅋ oh bbys why so precious ♥ you're supposed to be all bad ass, mithbear. don't chat with 19 year old idols on twitter. and don't post stalkerish messages. i love it when my fandoms clash ♥ i've been busy untagging myself on facebook lately ;A; why am i so unphotogenic?  we're supposed to be blushing brides. if this is my dress, i'm suing the company :D epik till the death of me; 9:16 PM |