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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Monday, August 30, 2010 인생에게 갖고 있는 열정이 사라 졌다. 왜 그런지 모르겠지만 맘이 좀 허전한다. "내 삶의 길을 찾을 수 있을 까 ?" 그런 걱정을 계속 한다. 그래도 이런 목표없는 인생... 재미있다 ^^ 아이우 답답하네 답답해. epik till the death of me; 1:57 PM Sunday, August 29, 2010 wooyoung lies there on the floor in the large space they like to call the living room (though it really isn't in the condition for anyone to live in), feeling absolutely bored. it's one of those days where the weather isn't hot, it's sizzling, and even the wooden floor boards do nothing to cool him down. beside him on the couch, taecyeon has his laptop perched on the arm rest. he's watching some acclaimed stand up comic that's apparently the biggest thing right now, but wooyoung wouldn't know, since it's all in the unfathomable language called english. the stand up comic makes a joke that sends taecyeon into loud guffaws. he sounds like a douchebag, but aren't they all? listening to the noise in the background, he's reminded of the 70's, despite never having lived in that era. he thinks of blonde hair teased into beehives and the perfect cereal box family laughing together, basking in the glow of the flickering tv showcasing yet another infomercial. taecyeon lets out a loud laugh and wooyoung wants to be let in on the joke. 4:32P.M. one more hour until nichkhun gets home from recording we got married. wooyoung blows at the fringe covering his eye and sighs. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 4:41 PM Saturday, August 28, 2010 it's that old fiend again, le throat infection. Ugh i get them so frequently that i pretty much stopped going to the doctors. I used to get it maybe only once or twice a yea r but now it seems like i get it every few months. Sometimes it's mild and all i feel is discomfort in the throat and a slight pain in the ear. but every so often it drags along a whole load of symptoms - a cough so bad i have to find support, a blocked up nose, body aches and worst of all, that annoying pain in the ear!today is one of those shitty days. I tried to finish some add maths but ugh i feel so weak and out of it.i'm going to bed. even though it's 11 on a saturday night :| epik till the death of me; 11:01 PM Wednesday, August 25, 2010 damn you, kpop. damn you, world. damn you, the separation of singapore from malaysia. SO UM, BIG BANG, SHINEE, INFINTE, FT ISLAND. TOGETHER. BUT IN FUCKIN' SINGAPORE. some of you are like "one month from spm nuuuu you can't" but please, you know that said night will be spent idk, sobbing into my pillow or furiously refreshing twitter for updates anyway. so WHY NOT. BIG FUCKING BANG AND SHINEE IN THE SAME CONFINEMENT. face it, in times like this, sanity is irrelevant. and really, when i was FIFTEEN, i hopped on the earliest bus down there with another barely legal buddy to see kpopcon08'. two years later, i suppose i'm more mature and can take care of myself better and... WHY FUCKIN' NOT ;A; epik till the death of me; 10:54 PM Wednesday, August 18, 2010 idk, you might be offended by this. skip if you're prone to butthurt. the other day i found myself explaining to my friend who marilyn monroe is (was?). i even mimicked the famous photograph that shot her to fame, hands protecting the unmentionables and all, but nope, she drew a blank. film star? death by suicide? romp in the bed with kennedy? andy warhol's painting? i tried, but it dawned on me belatedly that if they don't know who monroe is, there is no way they would know who warhol or kennedy is. if the proverbial wall that i bang my head against so often actually exists, there would be a bruise the size of my fist on my head. while i admit that i am no learned person, having never been exposed to such knowledge growing up (different cultures and whatnot), but at least i know who, or what, mona lisa is. yes, mona fucking lisa, who has been parodied to death and is so famous that they have armed guards standing beside her. i know people who has no clue that such a painting exists. the only lisa worth knowing, as far as they're concerned, is the yellow little spunk in the simpsons, and even then, some have no idea who lisa simpson is. all i can say is, d'oh! oh, so i thought, this is what the world has fallen to. ignorance is almost fascinating, so from then on, i've been testing out different icons on people. but ngl, i chose who i asked, because obviously the only boy that i have actual intellectual conversations with would know these people/things. no one i asked, to my surprise (horror?) knew cleopatra. or king tut. no one knew what evolution was, either. but that i guess, is understandable because there's this whole religious debate about its existence and people in denial (i never said which party). for fun, i even mentioned the movie. "you never watched the kick ass movie with the 3 eyed smiley? oh man, where is your childhood?" got me more blank stares. audrey hepburn is a stranger to most, naturally. they do, however, know tiffanys, despite the store not found in malaysia. (gossip girl, someone explained and i was like GUN WHERE GIMME NOW. tomorrow i will try napoleon. because come on, even if you know zilch about history, you might've come across the shortie in Night in the Museum II right? epik till the death of me; 4:17 PM Sunday, August 15, 2010 this is a very creepy feeling. i don't feel me. it's like i'm not the one controlling myself. i feel like i'm outside my own body, watching this shell of a girl moving around the place. i mean, i've been sitting in front of my book trying to study and i literally blank out for 10 minutes. it's like i'm daydreaming, except none of my thoughts will form clearly and my head is too heavy to really think. i swear, the last time i checked the clock it was 11 and now it's 11.20 and i have no idea what i've been doing because i'm on the same page and i don't remember doing anything during this time. i know i should be freaking out at how unprepared i am for tomorrow's test but i can't even feel emotions right now. i don't feel happy or sad or afraid or worried. just a little confused at why i'm not feeling everything else. it's like someone sucked out my soul and took it for a spin before returning it to me. and that sounds really likely to me now. it's really really creepy. or perhaps it's just the lack-of-sleep talking. is this what out of body experiences feel like? epik till the death of me; 11:23 PM Saturday, August 14, 2010 Donghae's only been in this world for 0.2324 seconds before his hands are roughly pushed behind his back and cuffed with cold metal links, the sudden roughness he's subjected to catching him by surprise. Obviously, he landed in the wrong era. "Wait-" The protest leaves his lips sounding more like a plea and he hates that, hates sounding weak and not in control (even though he obviously isn't). He tries to twist around to face his captor and stares right into the cold eyes of a man much more handsome (beautiful?) than anyone he's ever encountered. Donghae darts his eyes down and checks out the body attached to that beautiful face, can't stop the grin from breaking out across his face when he sees the perfectly sized biceps and the flat stomach hidden behind the form-fitting black uniform. Unable to stop the instinct drilled into him, Donghae changes his tone immediately and says suggestively, "Oh, hey there big boy." Pretty boy frowns and seems flustered. He must not be used to people flirting with him while being arrested. "Move," he orders, tightening the grips on Donghae's arms. He's trying to be serious and firm, Donghae can tell, but pretty boy's biggest mistake is perhaps revealing his face. He looks too soft and nice to be a hardass... Uh, what is he, exactly? Police officer? Army personnel? Or some kickass mafia boss? "Alright, alright, I'll move." donghae shuffles along obediently as pretty boy jerks him forward and adds, just to mess with pretty boy's head, "I'll do anything you ask me to do." Pretty boy turns his head away to hide the fleeting emotion of surprise and confusion that passes across his face but Donghae catches it all the same. Satisfied with himself, Donghae beams a mega watt smile at pretty boy and attempts to make friendly conversation. "So, where are you taking me? And why am i cuffed?" He looks around him and takes in the tall metal buildings and the cold, sterile setting of his surroundings. 2160? He estimates a year after noting that the hovercrafts flitting around the place are of the old design he's only seen in history books. There are no other humans on the streets, only silent androids moving around, sweeping the streets, washing the windows and doing other errands. It's eerily quiet and Donghae has to stop himself from yelling out the alphabet, just to fill that suffocating silence. Would anyone even remember the alphabet anymore? It was ancient history, a dying art that Donghae was proud to know of. Pretty boy doesn't reply, just trudges forward with a robotic expression settled on his face. What a shame that a pretty face like this has to be framed with a frown. Donghae is the kind of guy that has to be surrounded by noise at any given time so with nothing else to do, he starts complaining, "Come on, look at all the fancy hovercrafts. Why do we have to walk?" At this, pretty boy finally gives him a response. He stops in his track and turns to face a gleeful donghae. The frustration is evident in his voice as he bites out each word, "Why don't you ever stop talking?" Before donghae grasps the situation, pretty boy lovers a well placed blow to donghae's neck and the world goes black. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 10:13 PM Monday, August 09, 2010 these are mostly songs that came out in 2006-07, aka the songs that made me fall in love with kpop. WHERE ARE SONGS LIKE THESE NOW. I DEMAND THEM BACK. also, i am obviously biased. i just about recced three entire albums - 8eight's first album The First , mc mong's shows just begun and sg wannabe's story in new york. ranks among my favourite albums ever. i loved loved loved 8eight when they debuted soooo much. 4men - 똑똑똑 ♥ 4men – 고백 4men - 추억에 살아 4men - First kiss ♥ 8eight - 사랑을 잃고 난 노래하네 ♥ 8eight - 사이 (feat. Wonder Girls & Pdogg) ♥ 8eight - 들어요 8eight - 사랑할 수 있을까 Baby-G – Cryin Baby-G - You & I (feat. Vivian) Brian Joo - Bullet ♥ Brown Eyed Soul Jungyeop - 잘지내 ♥ Brown Eyed Soul - 시계 Brown Eyes - 루아흐 ♥ Casker - 아무도 모른다 Cho PD – 친구여 Clazziquai - 라푼젤 (Rapunzel) Clazziquai - Alex - Daydreaming CSJH - My Everything CSJH Sunday - Angels (aka the trax's song) Drunken Tiger - One Summer Night (feat. Gemini) (gemini is tasha, btw) Eddie – Over ♥ Epik high - 거미줄 ♥ Epik high - 선곡표 ♥ Eun Ji Won - 04 It's True (Feat. Baek Ji Young) Eun Ji Won - 너하나 (THIS IS SO CUTE) ♥ Freestyle프리스타일 - 행복을 주는 사람 Kim Jong Kook – 사랑스러워 Kim Yeon Woo김연우 - 바람, 어디에서 부는지 Leejung - 그대만보며 ♥ Leessang – Ballerino Lexy - Girls ♥ Lim Jaebum & Lena Park - 사랑보다 깊은 상처 ♥ Lucid Fall - Mackerel ♥ Mate - Better MC Mong - Beautiful life ♥ MC Mong - 아홉번째 구름 ♥ MC Mong - 페르시안 고양이 ♥ MC Mong - Hide and Seek (숨바꼭질) MtoM – 세글자 M to M – 사랑한다 말해줘 Park Jiyoon - 바래진 기억에 ♥ Park Ji Yoon - 봄, 여름 그 사이 Ra.D - I m In Love (forget narsha do the original) Seo Taiji - Classroom Idea ♥ Se7en - 잘할게 SG Wannabe - 첫눈♥ SG Wannabe & KCM - 가시리 SG Wannabe - 이토록 아름다운 ♥ SG Wannabe - 이별 아닌 이별 SG Wannabe Kim Seok Hun - 그대를 사랑하는 10가지 이유 Shinhwa - Time Machine ♥ Son Danbi- 투명인간 Soul Star - 잊을래 Supreme Team – Supermagic ♥ The Black Skirts (검정치마) - Tangled Urban Zakapa - Caffe Latte (Arpeggio Version) Wanted & 7days - 가지마 가지마 ♥ White Brown (화이트 브라운) - 처음처럼 Winterplay - Gypsy Girl Yoon Shi Yoon - 너에게 간다 (the boy is an actor, so excuse the vocals) Younha - peace, love and icecream Yurisangja유리상자 - Don't Worry Be Happy ♥ 제8극장 - 밤의 환상곡♥ 김제동송 - 오쿄쿄쿄 (yes, the kim jedong song haha. LOVE IT!) er not kpop BUT OMG SO GOOD. Far East Movement - Two is Better ♥ Somewhat messy and probably not what you were looking for but omg bish I am in the middle of my SPM TRIALS. Labels: song rec epik till the death of me; 11:08 PM Friday, August 06, 2010 as promised, here is the "normal" post. and now, i shall do the basics that every teenage blogger might do- camwhore. except unlike them, i'm too lazy to photoshop all flaws so there you go, me, unedited. you don't even need to squint to see the break out. 
rofl i honestly couldn't keep a straight face while doing this. this is a popular pose, y/y? the mirror/phone camera/slight pout/not looking at lens. haha. and now, uh, my day. yes, what about? → exams start on monday and as usual, i'm about as prepared for it as south korea is prepared to accept the notion that good music does not require autotune and stripping. which is not at all. but it's alright, i can half ass my way through it and blame my less than stellar grades on the stress of preparing for exams. →i smsed a few people this morning, not expecting to get a reply but haha everyone replied. which is fine. if it wasn't a school day. bad kids, bad kids! D → look at what's growing all over my garden! mushrooms! probably poisonous. but whatever.  
they're huge too. my fist is really big. really.
→ isn't this the cutest thing ever? it goes under the "useless but cute things i buy" list. it actually contains sesame seeds and some other spices that the japanese use to top their rice. i don't even care what it is, it's cute!  
i'm done :Dnow if only there was some activity in here. i've never seen a dead-er blog! epik till the death of me; 9:43 PM Sunday, August 01, 2010 it's weird. looks can be deceiving. anyway, here is a moment of self reflection: 
i wonder what image my blog reflects?probably not the image i want to build. reading my blog, how would you rate my grasp of the english language? because i've been reading the blogs of a few other schoolmates, and i know their english is just mediocre, but they appear to write it perfectly in their blogs. whereas i butcher the language in every way possible and write in a way that would be the grammar police sob. one thing though, i can safely say it's a unique style of writing. i haven't seen many who write like me. or maybe it's too horrible to be duplicated and about the content of this blog. look at the country of origin of the visitors to my blog in july.  it's a very colourful graph, but what i'm trying to say here is that foreign readers outnumber local readers. which means my friends aren't coming in here at all D: i wouldn't really blame them. all i do is moan and fap. but hey, you try filling up 700 posts without talking about your daily life; see how much substance you can throw in. i don't like talking about what goes on in my life, especially not when the majority of readers find their way here through google. it'll be revealing too much to strangers, y/y? but i suppose it's a connected kind of thing. i post more about my life, my friends start coming in. my friends start coming in, i post more about my life. alright, next post, i'm going to try to be an average teenage blogger again. detailing my life and everything, complete with pictures. i'll try, but i can't promise anything. and hey, here's an extra bit of info. the country breakdown of my blog visitors since mid 2009.  epik till the death of me; 8:24 PM |