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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Tuesday, May 24, 2011 1. i'm craving a beer D: and chips. i want both. so bad. i'm having craves like a pregnant woman pumped up with hormones. except, you know, pregnant women can't have alcohol. that's sad :( 2. beast's fiction is beautiful. it really is D: i'm so proud of you bbys ♥ 3. i finished season 1 of the big bang theory today. my life is so productive n________n their theme song is possibly the catchiest song in the world. 4. oh hey, how romantic. the heart symbol is said to depict features of the human female body, such as buttocks, pubic mound, or spread vulva. so the next time a guy says i♥u, think about whether you should melt and go aw, or slap him. and the next time you want to send a honey~♥ to your boy, you might possibly be offering sexual advances. 5. i went to the 2am showcase last saturday!  photos credit to debbie and bby i hope you don't mind hehe. 6. i just realized that i've never seen a coyote or a wolf in my life. why :( Labels: lists epik till the death of me; 3:24 PM Thursday, May 19, 2011 ai thought i fit in after so long. oh, finally my social life is improving, and i'm making friends. lots of them. but ah, alas. i can put on a facade and make the world believe in this new me, but i can't lie to myself. i can't be the way everyone is and i should really learn to accept that. instead, i choose to pretend because i am a social creature and i crave people. i need to talk i need to laugh i need to feel needed. there are others like me, but i shy away from them too. because maybe... maybe i'm afraid that if i'm with them, people will think i'm weird too. i pretend so much that it became a part of me. i can't separate these two identities anymore. i hate to admit it, but this is me now. it's fine but sometimes i suffer from a relapse. if you can call it that. like tonight. i'll start wondering why i'm doing this, and i wonder why i stick around. i wonder why i'm not nicer to that forgotten boy. i wonder what my life has become. i'm a fucking hypocrite. meep. epik till the death of me; 9:54 PM Friday, May 13, 2011 today's the day you hear? you nod to yourself, determined fists clutched at your side. you're a girl on a mission and you march through the halls, your radar scanning the surroundings for himhimhim. you know he's there before you even see him. that white shirt that he wears so often. his old faded jeans. that overgrown hair so in the need of a haircut. he smiles. you let your heart flutter for a split second, but you have the sense to look behind you. just as you expected (though you really don't want to believe it) he's smiling at the girl behind you. cue the awkward smile. he brushes past you, hands already reaching out to playfully nudge the girl behind you. you can't turn around to watch him leave but you imagine it all in your head, your own personal drama enfolding to an audience of one. your whole world is shaken but everyone else seems perfectly fine. another one of those moments in the melodramas where time draws to a stop and the whole world spins in front of you. ah... apparently today isn't the day. ___ if i don't already have to clarify, this is not me lol. i would not let anyone pass me by without getting a few words in. i guess. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 12:33 AM Saturday, May 07, 2011 i'll just... leave this here.  epik till the death of me; 2:30 PM Thursday, May 05, 2011 ohohoho i'm so happy today. woke up this morning with all this energy pooling in my stomach. i was hyper the whole morning and kept dancing around like a fool xD after lunch, i skipped glob class to play monopoly deal with a couple of guys. and when i came home i saw the most precious picture ever ♥ today was a good day :) _ and with the obligatory summary of my day to make this blog seem more like a normal blog, i continue my daily whining. i don't feel like eating lately. that's bad, of course. just the thought of food makes me go D: i often have long periods where i have food craves and all the food in the world can't satisfy me. and after that phase passes, i stop wanting to eat ANYTHING. i don't want breakfast or lunch or dinner. i start thinking of eating as a chore and i eat only because i have to. for dinner today all i had was a small crepe. i'm so unhealthy :( epik till the death of me; 7:13 PM Monday, May 02, 2011 i wanted to write about how people never understand me in conversations, but i thought, HEY WHY WRITE WHEN I CAN DRAW THIS INSTEAD? it seemed like a good idea to me, so i spent 15 minutes doing this!  clickie clickie to enlarge. disclaimer: this post may or may not be the result of a serious sugar rush. epik till the death of me; 12:03 AM |