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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Thursday, January 27, 2011 you guuuuys, i have a bad crush. it's such a relief because i haven't liked anyone in YEARS and i was starting to worry about myself. i'm so socially awkward when it comes to the opposite sex that i'll just rather burrow up to my girl friends and stay single forever. god, i feel like a 13 year old again. it's been five years and everythings been building up like a dam and suddenly its all rushing out. now that i remember what it feels like, i feel sorry for the few boys i turned down, and i apologize for the ignored messages. at the same time, i'm feeling a little creeped out, because do they do what i do right now? do they think how i think right now? there's a very real danger that you might actually see this, but that's okay i might not be refering to you. (after all, you're not the only boy i look at.) and there's a very high possibility that some of my friends might see this, and again, i might not be talking about the boy you think i'm talking about. (if you're seeing this and you're in my college then shush, keep it low ;D ) or maybe i am. because i'm transparent like that. till then, another valentines day spent with friends. epik till the death of me; 9:43 PM Sunday, January 23, 2011 i love this feeling. i'm in... what can only be called the zone. you might know this feeling. if you're an artist a writer a dancer a composer a poet you will know this feeling. it feels like complete zen, like you're detached from all other emotions and troubles. you're inspired. the only thing you want to do is to laze around and create. in my case, words flow easily. i write most of my fics like this. the first thing i need is darkness. no bright lights, no sunlight. midnight is perfect, with only the glow of a lone table lamp casting shadows across the room. secondly i need music. you can tell what music i'm listening to by what i write. when i'm inspired, i listen to lots of hiphop, lots of indie. jazzyfact epik high ibadi urban zakapa lucid fall no reply nell. these artists have helped me create some of my favourite works. i feel so peaceful right now. epik till the death of me; 4:20 PM Friday, January 21, 2011 ㅎㅎㅎ i do love college. but it's a little hectic, and once classes really get going i think i'm going to be really really busy :| for now i love it. i love the subject globalization. i love being able to discuss serious matters for once. i love the fact that speaking up in class is encouraged. and i love learning about new cultures, new experiences, new ideas. i love that we can dress as we please, even if i have to think about what to wear everyday. i love having people who think along the same wavelength as me. i love my newfound friends, because omg now i'm not the only boycrazy kid around. and naturally, i love the boys. good looking people, finally! hehe THERE'S A YOON SHIYOON LOOKALIKE. actually, he's cuter than shiyoon and omg HELLO EYECANDY. oh, i wish this honeymoon period would never end. tests and projects come rolling in next month :( epik till the death of me; 9:42 PM Sunday, January 16, 2011 i. wrote kim jongsuk and hong jonghyeon. okay. call me weird. but guh their bffery is cute. and it's so short, yeah? they're models turned actors. jongsuk's debut role was as ssun in secret garden. jonghyeon acted in a small list of shows, the most recent being the lead in jungle fish 2. contains references to secret garden, one of the earlier episodes. maybe episode 3 idk. the scene between oska and ssun at jeju island. you wouldn't get it unless you watch secret garden._ jonghyeon studies his reflection in the mirror with a frown. he runs a finger across his chin, feeling no trace of stubble. he glances glumly at the shaver lying forlornly on the edge of the sink and lets out a long sign. he supposes he's good looking. why else would he be booked for photoshoots and runway shows every other week? if he could change one thing about his appearance, and that's not to say he's not thankful about what he already has, he would want to be a little manlier. with his boyish looks bordering on the edge of feminity, possessing the ability to grow facial hair, even a weak 5 o'clock shadow, would make others view him as more of a fully grown man and less as the boy-next-door. "hyeon ah~" an arm is slung around his neck and jonghyeon finds himself jerked backwards roughly. "jongsuk, i need to breathe." jonghyeon wrestles the arm away from his neck and addresses his attacker without needing to turn around. "run over my lines with me," jongsuk whines, widening his eyes and pouting in his best impression of a puppy dog face. "hey, you barely have any lines. shouldn't you be the one helping me with my lines?" jonghyeon massages his neck and walks into his bedroom. "and what did i tell you about not barging into my room like this?" "we're two jong," jongsuk says with a giggle that jonghyeon wants to call out. "i can go anywhere i want." "don't say that," jonghyeon pushes jongsuk's head away with a finger and lets out a loud laugh. "haven't you heard?" jongsuk's expression turns taunting and his tone drops, "i'm gay." jonghyeon plays along and takes on the crazed expression of the much loved oska. he presses himself against the wall dramatically and widens his eyes. jongsuk takes one step forward and hooks an arm around jonghyeon to pull him close. before jonghyeon can react jongsuk has smashed their lips together. it takes almost 3 seconds for the whole situation to register and jonghyeon pushes a much too satisfied jongsuk away. jonghyeon wipes his lips with the back of his hand and glares at jongsuk. "that's not in the script." jongsuk grins. "it should be." Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 4:34 PM Friday, January 14, 2011 i need sleep, yes. writing while sleep deprived is not smart. so as usual, MESSY LIKE HECK! today i went to the astro hitz recording of the cube fam. made shirts again. will replace this with a full picture of the 6 of us when i get it from amanda.  
lining up, we heard beast rehearsing inside and we sang along to shock and beautiful. so cool ;A; i guess doojoon got a little too excited and he was the only one who responded to our screams and singing.
after all three rehearsed and a very long wait, we were let into the club. suddenly i heard all this screaming coming from the corner and i realised that it was for the cube managers, joonkun, jiyong (beast's managers) and jintaek (4minute's manager) ... why the fuck do i know their names and even recognise them. the other girls were calling out to them, like "JIYONG OPPPPPAR, JOOONKUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!" one girl even made a fucking board with their faces on top!!!! that's extreme, okay.
mc spoke/dragged out the time, irrelevant guests performed, cameras got ready, soundchecks were performed blabla.
g.na came out first, of course. upclose, she's even less impressive. we were really close, maybe only a few feet away. her face is too small for her body and it's just... she's pretty yeah, in a non-conventional way, but like i said, something just isn't right. no one can deny that her voice is amazing though. she did a brief interview and started singing supa solo. here's the ridiculous part: remember the cute backup dancer i mentioned in the previous post? that kid is the infamous seobang!!! he's arguably the most famous cube trainee, almost on the same level as the kwon twins (yg trainees). when seobang (real name kimtaewoo) jumped onstage, the volume of the screams increased dramatically. deb said a girl in front of me actually focused her fancam on seobang instead of gna :|first fangirling the managers, now fangirling the backup dancer? (even if seobang is kasjlaslasa hot?) next 4minute performed. they did two songs, huh and muzik, as well as a short interview. the crowd was obviously there for hyuna, and that tease actually lifted up and rubbed her bare thigh seductively in front of the crowd. eek. tbqh, hyuna looks better on screen. in real life, she's very shy, and the way she looks at the fans... i can't describe it, but she looks at us with a mixture of amusement and amazement. she doesn't look as pretty as she looks onscreen, but still, she's beautiful. maknae sohyun however... the camera does her no justice! she is absolutely gorgeous, especially her flawless skin. she's cute in pictures, and in real life, she's more charismatic. beast. ah yes, beast. i think my hearing might've been permanantly damaged. the volume of the screams were. just. JLSKJA:JS:KAS:SK. junhyung must have been sick, because he was lifeless these two days, and today he wore black sunnies. doojoon was hyper as always and wjdsdlk so cute. they did the interview first this time. then they did shock. after that the tv staff cut to commercial so the boys hovered on stage. doojoon misunderstood the situation and thought they were to sing the next song, so he said, "the next song. beautiful!" a stagehand hastily explained, and doojoon went, "ah...광고." he turned to us and repeated, "광고." but he realised that we couldn't understand (most of us anyway lol), and he thought for a few seconds before saying, "CF!" cutie pie omg. oh, and i'm on kbs! 
tLabels: fan account epik till the death of me; 11:37 PM
► kpop live concert 110113 written yesterday and published today because it was way too late. It's 12:44am and i just finished getting ready for bed after a long draggy experience with public transportation :| today was a hectic day. today was the fourth and final day of orientation and we had to sign up for classes. after a confusing dash, i finished signing up, threw my form to my friends and left for the concert at 3pm. when i got to the stadium, it was unfortunately pouring buckets and i got drenched. my friends and i made beast tshirts, which got us a bit of attention.   finally at 6.30ish, we were ushered in the stadium. g.na came out first. she's tall. very tall. and for some reason, her face looks different in real life. there's something off about her features, something i can't pinpoint, but in pictures it's almost awkward. anyway, she's waaaay prettier in real life. she came out with of course, i'll back off and let you live. during the brief interview section, she explained that she was sick and talked about her debut full album dropping next week. her english speaking voice is different from her singing voice, much softer and very cute. she punctuates her sentence with girlish giggles a lot. after that she sang rihanna's take a bow and she messed up a few lines of lyrics. she did warn us beforehand though. finally she sang super solo with two adorable male backup dancers and two female ones. barely 15 minutes in the concert, she exited the stage. next 4minute popped up. they started off with huh. during the interview they tried speaking adorable english. someone -jihyun? can't quite remember who niw- misintroduced the next song, highlight, when she said "the next song is muzik!" they only did muzik after i my me mine which was the 3rd song they performed. they were really really cute when they said hot issue was the last song. someone said in heavily accented english that it was the last song, so they should talk a bit. gayoon led us in a singalong session, before launching into hot issue. a few bows later, they left. gayoon is amazing, okay. the power in her voice, the expressiveness of her well, expressions, and the way she handles herself on stage... she simply stood out to me. plus, she made an effort to perform some fanservice, at times running off to the side of the stage during her parts, even if it meant missing the group dances. hyuna is mindblowingly sexy. her legs are no doubt the prettiest. 4minute seems to swirl their hips seductively every five seconds, and gdi when hyuna does it, even i love it. at one point they shuffled to the front, but hyuna didn't have space to stand in the row, so she danced behind them, dishing out fanservice to the sides. during one song, jihyun also did a high kick split thingy. we all know who's left :D beast started out, strangely, with special. at the interview, they said typical stuff, like how they like malaysia, how they're pleased that we still support them, how they want to come back. then they did soom, followed by oasis, which was laden EXTREMELY HEAVILY with fanservice. oh, those boys know how to work the crowd. yoseob sat in front of the camera and sang directly into it. dongwoon dropped to his knees at one end of the stage to sing. on the other side hyunseung danced this weird jiggly dance etc. they took a short break. doojoon then attempted wkldjsalkdasjkldjkl CUTE english and said gikwang didn't come today. doojoon: you know my princess? doojoon: *pleased at response* he miss you! dongwoon: but don't miss him. doojoon: his name is (kiki's name in my princess i forgot what) after saying that, he kinda cackled. idk his laugh was the cutest thing i've ever heard. ksdjlkasjlj CUTE. next they did shock and the the moment we've all been waiting for, beautiful~ this is the last song, they kept repeating, kljdaklsjlk finally i saw this live. it's just as adorable ;A; THERE WAS 2JUN DURING THE FANSERVICE PART :D it was all junseob or junseung throughout the concert, so let me fangirl my otp moment! xD then they went backstage, all the while still talking to us, so naturally we had an encore. the encore song was... very important u (v.i.u)! omg again, fanservice galore. you know, point at a certain fan when they go "you! you! you! you! you! my beautiful my gurl~" beast really knows how to hype up the crowd. they got us so excited, but boom, the end came. doojoon was happy as fuck throughout lol. leader is easily excitable, i see :D his grin was :DDDDDDDDD during beautiful. i love how he enjoys himself on stage. deb said junhyung looked sick, dongwoon is mr overcome with emotion as usual (he keeps falling to his knees!) and yoseob is the adorable fanservice king. and hyunseung... well, he tries. all in all, the concert lasted only an hour and 20ish minutes. WAY TOO SHORT, if you ask me, only 14 songs!!!! but it's way worth it. i haven't been this high during a concert since supershow3 Labels: fan account epik till the death of me; 8:46 AM Tuesday, January 11, 2011 i started college yesterday. and i would sound excited right now except. no, i am. i do love the atmosphere, i do love the promise of the people. i do love the idea of being able to choose the subjects i want to take. but right now i must be pmsing like fuck, because i'm not only feeling a little under the weather, i get irritated so easily. okay, whining over. no more whining. first, details. im taking the mufy (monash university foundation year) at sunway university, and i plan to take mass communication. yesterday was the first day of orientation. mufy has more boys than girls. unfortunately, mufy does not have any cute boys my age T________T my year will be boringgggg *sobs* anyway, the ~ooh shiny new campus and new experiences~ thrill wore off quickly. now the fact that i can't quite half ass my way through my studies is sinking in, but i think i will enjoy it. it sounds promising. during the english test a few people finished before me, and that made me so pleased :) finally people like me. uh, i think i'm rambling. nothing i write makes sense anymore. i think i'll stop and idk, watch mindless dramas until my brain turns to fluff. good day :D epik till the death of me; 9:27 PM Thursday, January 06, 2011 i want a boyfriend. preferably one that looks like this.  but i know that's not possible. plus, where's the fun of having a boyfriend that's prettier than you are? okay fine a more realistic boy, yeah? 
okay FINE. realistic.
not realistic enough? how bout now?
now?
have you realised that this post is just an excuse for me to post pictures of hot boys yet?
from top: uljjang lee dohyeong, actor hong jonghyun, actor kim soohyun, actor lee jongsuk, rapper beenzino.
i've been kind of insanely crazy over these boys (men?) lately.
anyway enjoy a must watch (if you're a girl lol) video of lee dohyeong being cute :Dps. i'm not kidding about wanting a boyfriend though lawl. careful boys, this bish is on the prowl :D epik till the death of me; 2:51 PM Saturday, January 01, 2011 yup, new year! 6th year into blogging, 6th year into kpop. sigh. this year has just speeded past in a flurry of activity. i spent christmas in china, which is probably one of the most unchristmasy places in the world idk. new years eve was spent working until late evening, and at night i went to a bbq party with friends and those crazies sneaked into the condo swimming pool and jumped in. so yeah, the fact that 2010 is officially over hasn't quite sunk in yet. early last year i actually made an attempt to document my year and here's the result! MY 2010 SCRAPBOOK! for those tldr people, here are the highlights, directly lifted from that post due to my laziness keke. 
March 20 - SUPERJUNIOR SUPERSHOW! awesomely awesomeness ♥ June 27th- So Beast! Showcase & fansigning. July 10th - Brian Joo! I went to his press conference, his showcase and the afterparty on my birthday! Best birthday ever because I got a hug, a birthday wish, a hug and a group photo! ♥ October 17th - JYJ showcase December 5th - Jay Park Hi-5 Event and Kim Hyunjoong sighting in the same day!  February 15 - Sis went to Sydney. February 26 - Jay leaving - for good. March 16 - Trip to Cambodia. April 10 - Camp + getting lost in the woods at midnight for 4 hours! April 24 - Haunted house for Canteen Day. May 29th - The arrival of our adopted dog, Muddy! ♥ June 19th - Trip to Shanghai - World Expo 2010 November 23rd - Start of one month long college entrance exams, or SPM. December 24th - Trip to Chengdu, China. you know, i had a lot of things planned out for this post. it's the first day of the new year, after all. i would prefer to start off the year sounding wise and intellectual, having learnt new lessons and cropped up new experience during the year. but that... is not going to happen. i'm just not in the mood to be wistful and reflective. so for now, i'll just give a nod to 2011 and sign off quietly. college starts in 9 more days, just 2 weeks after i finished my college entrance exams. sure i want to play and relax for a little while longer, but that's how it turned out to be, so i face it with anticipation. let's hope it turns out okay, epik till the death of me; 12:55 PM |