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About Me  jiaqian → fangirl. insane. beware. → am a little twisted, and a lot disturbing, but once you look past the insaneness, i'm quite interesting. → this is a mostly a place for me to wax horrible poetry and post cryptic rants that no one will understand but of late it has evolved into yet another angsty diary. but the last time i checked, that's what blogs are for. →also, lots of typos since i'm normally high (on life, not crack!), tipsy or depressed when i write my posts. seriously. → profanity galore. honest raw emotions. are you squirmy when it comes to emotions? → slightly unhinged. dancing on the edge yet in control. perfection is overrated. The likes ♥
kpop. k-indie. k-hiphop. uljjangs. k-models. the boy in header: model kang cheolwoong Links
my fic journalflavors Friends
Amanda/Pei Yun Chy Yun Debbie Euwing Gabby Jia Ying Jinzhi Muayyad Nadiah PhuiYee, Yeevon Samantha Seayunn Siauthung Yiwen YiLin Yishuen The others
Credits Layout design by Eefennie. edited by mua. | Saturday, March 31, 2012 i stopped having nightmares lately, and i'm not sure if i'm happy with that. on one hand, i don't jolt awake with my heart in my throat. on the other hand, i feel empty, because in my dreams i live. real life doesn't seem as technicolour as it does in my dreams. and the thing with nightmares is, i remember them, but i don't remember the happy dreams. i woke up this morning with a smile on my face. i can't remember why now, but i know it involved The Boy. i can only see flashes of his face now and not a whole, but i know it's him. he's back in my dreams. i woke up feeling contented, and already his hand was slipping away from mine, fingers unfurling and withdrawing. i think i can grasp at a few strings now- it's the first day (of something. school? work?) and i'm desperate to get away from a talkative girl. i duck away from her and pretend to be invested in a conversation with the next person i see. he's taken back at first but he catches on and casually slings his arm around me. something happens, an explosion. we're running away. it isn't scary; it's exhilarating, because i know i'll be safe. this isn't a nightmare. we escape to the side of a road and sit there on the barrier, swinging our legs. _ mmm, my schedule is good i suppose.  i was worried about what to eat, but i guess those worries are unfounded, since i barely have to spend time at uni heh. i am worried about fitting in though. i know i can, but the people around me... they aren't exactly my "type". they're not the kind of people that i would actively seek out as friends, because we're about as different as can be. but people adapt and change, and so can i. i want to join the book club. i wonder if i should. epik till the death of me; 3:14 PM Monday, March 26, 2012 after 5 months of lazing around, orientation was today! how was it? i wouldn't know; i bailed after barely one hour. i expected more, and at the same time i didn't expect anything at all. the latter was the truth. nothing much about today impressed me. my bias against taylors withstands, which is stupid, considering i'm a student there. how did i waste my last few days of holidays? i went on a 19 hour fangirly trip to see snsd. the boys picked me up at 5am and i reached home only at midnight. i couldn't really take the full shot of a stage and the towers because uh, i was too close heehee.  
tiffany was really hyper and the rest of the girls seemed really happy too, joking around on stage. sunny looked pissy tho, but i'm sure it's due to their whirlwind schedules.
bloopbloop gotta sleep. tomorrow we get our academic schedules.epik till the death of me; 9:26 PM Wednesday, March 07, 2012 a lot of people don’t understand my love for epik high, so i though i’ll spell it out for them. i’m pissed off → i listen to epik high → calm washes over me i’m sad → i listen to epik high → i forget why i was sad i’m happy → i listen to epik high → today is the best fucking day ever i feel uninspired → i listen to epik high → my story seems to write itself i need to concentrate → i listen to epik high → i spend the next 3 hours dating my book i turn on my ipod → i listen to epik high → the world is a lot better epik till the death of me; 10:18 PM Tuesday, March 06, 2012 i plow through the pages of my seventeenth book decidedly not thinking about time ticking away 3 hours past midnight dawn's a stone throw away i have to wake up in 5 hours it's not too appealing a thought i wish night was forever and i could read all day but some nights are too long especially when nightmares grab hold the creatures of the night swirl in panthers dragons killers and bears stalkingrunningchasinggrabbing my heart in my throat the wind in my hair i wake up with my breathing too quick a little annoyed at the sun in my eyes a sigh from my lips a yawn easily slips and i'm off, somewhat reluctantly to start a brand new day. Labels: wordspit. epik till the death of me; 9:50 PM |